One-on-One Life Coaching from Joe Frazzette

Coach, Mentor, and Consult

COACH n: a private tutor; one who instructs or trains v: to instruct, direct, or prompt as a coach

MENTOR n: a trusted counselor or guide v: tutor, coach, mentor

CONSULT v: to ask the advice or opinion; confer n: consultant

The preceding are three words with essentially the same meaning. What does a coach, mentor, or consultant do? The answer may be more complex than the words used to describe the action. A coach is someone who is looked upon as a specialist or a person who possesses special insight in a specific area. That area may be in sports, where we see the term used most often. A mentor, on the other hand, is a term used more often in business or in general life circumstances. It is typically someone with wisdom or knowledge to guide you through difficult times of unknowing or provide valuable advice as you mature. A consultant is the term used almost exclusively in business. Typically we refer to a consultant for tax, investment, or business advice. For me, the three terms are essentially the same and I will use them intermittently based on the context of the discussion I am having or who and how I am addressing the individual or group in a given situation.

The key for me is to always be aware of how I am being perceived, based on who the receiver is, of the information I provide. My delivery shifts from being the coach, to the mentor, to the consultant based on the specifics of the discussion and more importantly, the objective or result I am seeking to obtain with my clients. You see, everyone learns in different ways and the shifts in delivery occur as I work in one on one situations, or address groups, both large and small. Some individuals need more coaxing and that is where the ‘coach’ comes through. Others are not as dependent on that style and just need the information conveyed in a clear concise manner, thus the mentor or consultant will typically surface.

Whatever the situation or style implemented in the delivery, there is always a set of objectives that a capable, effective coach should strive for. That is exactly what individuals will get from me when I am hired to work as their personal development professional. Those objectives I refer to are the following:

 

Find Happiness: Each client is unique and driven by their own set of values and morals. My intention in working with anyone is to find out what makes them tick and to identify what their intention is, in seeking personal development information. Everyone has their own reason and for me the sooner I know what that is the more effective I am as a coach, mentor, or consultant. The bottom line is this; the client is not happy with where they are currently, otherwise they would not have sought the advice and wisdom of a professional coach. It’s my job to uncover what the client is seeking to fill the happy void they feel in their life. Sometimes that can be an unfulfilled career, sometimes it could be something related to a personal relationship, or even a substance issue that is getting in the way of the individual being a productive person in society. I have seen all these situations and dealt with them, even in my own life! That is why I am compelled to help others with the knowledge and wisdom you will get here at the Wisdom Café. I have personally used these concepts to overcome obstacles and create amazing results in my own life, and I know I can help you do the same.

One of the first questions I will ask is “what do you want?” or “what do you desire most in life?” these are questions that will help uncover what the client is after, or more importantly, what it is that they believe will create the happiness they are seeking. Think about that last comment… I stated what it is they believe will create the happiness they are seeking. It is from this point I go to work illustrating over a short period of time, happiness is the starting point, and it isn’t the goal to be in pursuit of. Happiness is a choice and I work with my clients to instruct and illustrate the process of bringing happiness into their lives daily and making that the starting point for whatever they want to create from that space.

Fulfill Potential: Potential is one those scary words to some. Everyone is born with potential, but not many find out where their potential lies. In other words, we all wonder at one time or another, what we were brought into this life to do. The old saying “I’m trying to find myself” is a good illustration of this idea that we come into this life and then need to somehow find what it is we were meant to do while here. Well, I’m one to provide this one sage bit of advice, whatever you are doing currently, do it with passion. The fact that you live with passion each and every day will eventually lead you to find where your actual true potential exists, and the amazing part is you will find it is infinite. The real enjoyment in life comes from the process of whatever it is you do, not the completion of it. I believe you will find this statement to be true if you give it the proper time and attention. Think about the best times of your life and what it was that you were doing in those times. It becomes clearly evident that the process is what elevates your joy, and eventually fulfills your need to experience your full potential. Do the work is the title of a book authored by Steven Pressfield, and it is in doing the work we experience various degrees of our potential until we reach a point in which our potential is being fulfilled by the work we have discovered to be our true passion. My objective as your coach is to first identify what your desire is and then to keep you moving toward the objective of fulfilling that desire by adjusting your self-image and paradigms, in a way that makes them congruent with your initially stated desire.

This part of coaching is absolutely delightful because I work with my clients to explore their imagination and develop a dream outside the box. Go beyond what you have limited yourself to do or be in the past and dream big… so big it brings about a bit of fear. But don’t fret, fear is only an indication you are moving in the right direction and when you learn to use it positively, it will give you an adrenaline boost like nothing you have every experienced before. It is after all the only way to fully experience your full potential and expand as an ever evolving human being.

Make Changes: Most individuals who seek personal development professionals are looking to make a change or create something of significance in their life, which can also be perceived as change. One of the keys to making any type of significant change in your life is to realize that impactful, permanent change only occurs at the level of the subconscious mind. When you fully grasp this concept, you will have reached an understanding that will ultimately lead you toward successfully accomplishing the change you desire, whatever that may be. The two keys to creating change in one’s life is first the self-image, and paradigm must be uncovered. These are strongly held beliefs at the subconscious level. They are your drivers in essence, for what you do every day. You probably have heard the phrase, ‘we are creatures of habit’. Well that is exactly what we are. Trust me when I say, you have the ability to change the habits that exist as thought and action in your subconscious mind. You just need to understand the process clearly and know how to effectively execute the change you desire. That is where I can help as your professional coach/mentor. I have completed significant changes on myself, and it’s amazing to experience once you have mastered the process.

You have the same equipment as any other normal human being, so the only thing missing is the wisdom to execute the process of creating change. In other words, once you possess the knowledge of the method used to create the results, and subsequently the life you desire, you will be an unstoppable force. Over a short period of time, you will come to realize you have the power within you to make change in any area of your life that you desire. At that point of realization, your life will become a blissful adventure! You will no longer live with stress or in fear, because you will have realized it is within your ability as a creative human being, anything you desire to create is possible.

Find Balance: If you seek to create wealth, also seek humility. If you seek to create a healthy, fit body, also create fun with leisure and travel. The point I am attempting to illustrate here is this; there must be balance if you are to create a fulfilled life in which you enjoy all aspects of it, to its fullest potential.

Again, potential is one of those things we all have, but very few actually exercise their fullest potential. Reason being, we don’t all realize our infinite, imaginative source of creativity. All humans can create what they imagine in their minds, but very few do so because they either fall short on the willingness to do the necessary work or they simply don’t know the method for creating change in the subconscious mind. I am going to provide you with the method for creating change and you just need to come equipped with the desire to find and create balance. Trust in the process and together we will work to identify and create the life you desire.

I encourage you to be selective and create a life that is in full balance with all the things you desire so that you can enjoy every aspect of the gift you have been given. Keep a clear perspective of the importance each area of your life carries with it. Sure, wealth is a wonderful thing, but what good is it if you have no time to enjoy the things it can bring you. Good health is absolutely critical to a long life, but you should also include fun, travel, and leisure as a part of your long, life experience. Always be cognizant of bringing balance into your life and as a result, you will experience more happiness, splendor, and bliss. It’s really the only way to get the most of this gift of life we have been given.

 

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$529/hrs

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